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Here is what you should avoid or ask your colleagues to avoid:

  • Avoiding the person’s name in a meeting/call. I have been in countless meetings where people decide to circumvent my name entirely to prevent making a mistake. The worst part is that they say everyone’s name except mine. Your intention is not to get my name wrong, but the impact makes me feel.
  • Making a point that my name is different. You don’t need to state that you haven’t heard this name before or how difficult it will be to get it right. This makes me feel “othered,” and that because my name is different, I too am different and thus don’t belong.
  • Publicly stating your opinion on my name in a group. “Interesting name. I am not sure I will be able to get this one right.” Some things do not need to be said publicly. You’re doing so in a group setting makes me feel alienated.
  • Continuously misspelling someone’s name in email exchanges. Simply put — pay attention. Before sending any email, whether the person is a senior executive, a manager, or an intern, take the 10 seconds to make sure the spelling is correct. When you don’t, it makes me feel dismissed.

How to be part of the solution:

  1. Pay attention to how the individual pronounces their name. If it puzzles you, write down the phonetic pronunciation in your notes. If you mispronounce it, own up to it and do better.
  2. Follow up. If you forget how it is pronounced, say: “I am sorry, could you please pronounce your name for me again. I want to make sure I get it right.” Apologies and questions are always welcomed, but lack of effort or empathy are not.
  3. Be an ally. An old colleague and dear friend of mine would step in every time someone would ignore me in meetings. Her strategy was so tactful: “This question is within Hadeil’s expertise,” or “I will let Hadeil step in here to share her thoughts.” She made a point to emphasize the correct pronunciation of my name.
  4. Be self-aware. There is a time and place for everything. Limit any repetitive questions or comments about a colleague’s name in group settings.
  5. Make an effort. It always goes back to doing the work. Regularly making mistakes demonstrates a lack of effort and care. It communicates an unwillingness to prioritize your colleagues and an inclusive work environment. It says a lot to me when some of my colleagues get it right after one or two times, while others continuously make pronunciation mistakes or completely ignore me in meetings. You are the problem, not my name.